Yesterday I was at the gym, minding my own business, running on a treadmill. The much anticipated battle of soccer titans Croatia and Japan was being shown on one of the TV monitors and the volume was much too loud. I couldn't see the monitor without looking up and to my right. It is hard enough to run looking straight ahead, so I didn't actually see the contest. Anyway, I am waiting for the Fiji vs Namibia classic. But I digress.

Behind me, two ladies were pedaling exercise bikes and conversing loud enough to almost be heard over the background noise of the World Cup soccer match. They were discussing something of great importance, I'm sure.

"Like, I couldn't . . . . (Croatia just missed a goal) . . . like I never made it to .... (crowd noise) but like why would he like . . . . (a Japanese player was yellow-carded for intimating a Croatian player - crowd erupts) . . . ? Like the sale at Kohl's was like . . . . (more crowd hysteria) . . . and I like couldn't resist like the . . . (deafening cheers from Croatian fans) . . . like Al'Quiada . . . like ... (murmured words) . . . dannon yogurt, like fat-free . . (unclear words - sounded like "dog food" or something) without even like a thank you or whatever." And so it went on.

All I can really remember hearing were the multiple "likes," so common in the poor oral expression of today, interspersed with a few words that might actually have meaning. I doubt there is much that can be done to improve the standard of our spoken English. Those who use multiple unnecessary fillers to converse would probably never do the same thing in their written communications or in verse that they have memorized from childhood - verse that requires little conscious thought. Imagine for example, our Pledge of Allegiance, spoken in today's jargon:

"I like pledge allegiance to like the flag

of like the United States of America

and like to the Republic for which it like stands,

one nation like under God, like indivisible,

with like liberty and like justice for like all."

If I am going to continue to be sensitive (i.e. complain) to the seriousness of this problem, it is only right that I make a suggestion on how we might begin to turn the tide and reduce our dependency on the "likes," in our oral discourse. As in all dependencies, the first task is to admit that we have a problem. How do we point this problem out to someone, without offending them, so they can understand and admit to the problem?

Someone once said, "Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open." I think half the battle would be won if people could only hear themselves speak - just once. Start by saying, "Sue, have you noticed how often Shirley uses the word "like" in her sentences?" Sue may take notice of Shirley's habit and realize that she is guilty herself. This would open her mind a little. Of course, Shirley might just say, "don't call me Shirley!"

I am not a psychologist but I doubt that an outright intervention is appropriate here. This is not a chemical dependency. And while it doesn't rise to the seriousness, or urgency, of physical abuse, it is getting pretty close to mental abuse for many of us.

Parents can take the lead here and make sure their children are conscious of the problem. Challenge them to count how many times they use the word "like" in each sentence. I would try not to sound critical, but get the kids involved and interested in the issue, so they will take a little ownership in dealing with the problem. They will soon begin to control the habit. They may, if there is a God, spread the word to their school friends. Over time this scourge may be conquered.

My own spoken English is far from perfect. What worries me is that when talking to someone who uses "like" frequently, I find myself wanting to do the same thing. I fear that most of us will begin to cave in to the relentless pressure and allow the decay of our language to go on unchallenged.

Remember, "A journey of like a thousand miles begins with like a single step."