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Ancient Bank of PeTra discovered at Castlewood
Contributed by: Francis Miller on 5/18/2006

Just down from the Franktown Cave where ancient Indian artifacts were discovered in the 1940s, an ancient bank carved in stone was recently discovered. In a cranny in the rock was a scroll, which when deciphered proved it was the ancient bank of PeTra. This bank, now called PERA, had a social contract extending back to the beginning of time to pay government employees whatever they demand.

The site has been named a state landmark and custodial responsibility turned over to the Colorado 20s Monument Group, who will award the Bank of PeTra to PERA employees and their descendents by Memorial Day.

A spokesman for CO20 said, "We all know that the Legislature had to finesse the PERA employees because if they had been told the truth, that their benefits needed to be cut and the whole kit and kaboodle turned into a "defined contribution" plan, there would have been blood in the streets." Besides, the legislature is feeding at the PERA trough, so they are going to be the last ones to burst the bubble of an alternative reality. Better to perpetuate the myth and let some other schmuk down the road deal with it. Besides, our children will pay for the largesse anyway. So much for the greatest generation.

Anyway, PERA is being awarded the Bank of PeTra which is carved in stone in Castlewood Canyon just like their social contract. The Bank will dispense stone tokens in lieu of retirement monies and they can be used to pay any government related debt, taxes, school payments, license plates, etc. These are merely "tokens of our esteem" and not a replacement for real money which will be used to buy liquor, pay for Internet porn, your subscription to MySpace.com, Coke in the vending machine at school, and other essentials of modern life.

Public access to the site is scheduled for completion in 2051, the same year PERA is supposed to be solvent. It will be built at night by government employees who only work 180 days a year and have the other half of the year free to doeleemosynary work. Besides, at night, the Castlewood Canyon park rangers are asleep. There is concern, however, that the work lights and noise will disturb the landed gentry in Franktown who value their starry nights.



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CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Francis Miller

Parker , CO

Francis Miller has posted 699 stories and 9 comments since joining on 11/17/2005. Francis Miller's average story rating is 4.19.
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