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Fiddler on roof morphs into Humpty-Dumpty
On 7/1/2003

Contributed by: Francis Miller on 7/1/2006

The day, July 1, 2003, began hot; I was working by myself, spraying my concrete veneer invention on the roof of a house in Chenango, trying to perfect the process. My glasses began to fog a little as sweat dripped off my forehead. I turned to take a step and I felt my foot slip.

Instantaneously, my consciousness bifurcated as I slid toward the edge of the roof. My left brain was saying, "if you can catch your foot in the gutter you can stop yourself". It was all logic and reason flying in the face of probability. My right brain knew the outcome, but it was detached, observing the process, unemotionally, as I slid from the peak of the roof, 30 ft in the air to the edge and over to the ground, two stories below. I hit the ground, bounced six feet and came back down bracing myself with my right arm, all in less than 10 seconds.

Suddenly, I was back in my body. I moved a little and knew I hadn't broken my back, but the wind was out of me. I moved my arm, but it hurt like heck. My left leg didn't respond to my will and I knew I had somehow hurt it big-time, but there was no pain.

Next door were two Mexican landscapers working and they had seen me come off the roof. They rushed over; only one spoke broken-English. They didn't have a cell phone, but I knew shock would soon set in and asked them to call 911. They rushed back to the McMansion where they had been working and talked to the woman of the house. She called her attorney-husband who told her not to get involved. They came back and were quite animated because they didn't know what to do. I said, "you've got to get her to call 911" They went back and had an argument and she must have acquiesced because 15 minutes later I heard the sweetest sound in the world--a siren. I have a soft spot in my heart for Mexican laborers to this day.

There were four firemen. They cut my clothes off, put me on a gurney and carried me to the ambulance. They stuck an IV the size of a garden hose in me and off we went to Littleton Hospital. When we hit the emergency room, the nurses said, "This is a job for Dr. Zaki". I asked who is that and they said, Dr. Zaki Ibrahim. This was post 911 but even before that date I was leery of foreign doctors, and now, heaven forbid, I was dealt a Muslim terrorist in my hand of cards. But, God smiled down on me that day and Dr. Zaki turned out to be the most qualified guy in Colorado. Reared a Christian(not that it should make a difference) in northerm Minnesota, married to a Swede, trained at the Univ of Minnesota, 39 years old, and lured to Denver to practice at Swedish's Comprehensive Spine Center he was able to put "Humpty-Dumpty" (me) back together again. Ten years earlier and I would never have walked again. I had crushed my leg into over 100 pieces and broken my right arm. 98% of all people who fall the distance I fell die, not because of the broken neck or back, which is terrible, but because the organs in their body tear loose. I was one of the 2% lucky enough to survive and be in position to write this ditty.

I won't go into the hospital stay, surgery or the nearly impossible task of getting a registered nurse to stop reading the paper at the nursing station and get me a bedpan. But, this life changing episode taught me a few things that I would like to share:

1. The best physicians and nurses in the world are the intensive care and emergency room people. The regular floor nurses and general hospital staff don't even come close.

2. It really doesn't matter what caused your injury, whether is was an accident or engaging in any one of a hundred types of high risk behavior. And, it doesn't matter much that it happened while you were a perpetrator or victim. All that matters from the second you realize you are going to live is that your life is going to be different after the accident and a new reality must be accomodated.

3. People will surprise you. Your friends and family will not necessarily be there for you. Don't count on employees, customers, your insurance agent, or the homeowner whose roof you fell off. But, to be sure, there will be people who will astound you. Most likely your doctor and a couple of nurses who are literally angels sent from heaven. Your spouse, hopefully; my wife never faltered in her support and has endured much stress and financial loss due to my situation. It became "our" situation and I am forever grateful. I will never be able to repay her emotionally, spiritually, or physically. Not everyone is so lucky and some people find themselves abandoned by their spouse, emotionally and physically because they can't deal with it. Divorce is not uncommon.

Supposed friends will suprise you. Some cannot adjust their busy lives to make more than token visits. But, in my case, a guy who I had met only a couple of months before came every day, sometimes twice a day to visit and bring food and chat. Jim had suffered through health issues, surgery and recovery himself and I think he is also just a really fine person. We have become really good friends and I owe him a lot.

And, my nephew Jonathan, got in his car and drove 2,000 miles from Oregon to be a care giver. It was a turning point and I am grateful.

4. Your business; you can kiss it goodbye. Between the hospital bills, inadequate insurance payments, loss of income, customers who can't wait, the failure rate is high. If you have 100 employees and someone can step in, maybe, but if you are self-employed, be prepared to start over, in-debt, creditors hounding, your credit ruined and your psyche and body fragile. I met people who recovered physically to 80% of their former self, but only 20% financially and emotionally.

5. No matter how bad your accident, there are people who have it worse. I met a helicopter pilot who came down vertically 250 feet and lived. The guy with him died. He broke his back, leg and went through surgery. Unfortunately, he developed an infection and has had three surgeries over 5 years and his immune system can't fight the infection.
He may eventually die. He knows it and has put his life on hold.

Another guy I met had developed MS. He was extremely weathy and now hobbles around on crutches, waiting for the time when a wheel chair becomes necessary. He would sell the ranch in British Columbia and his big house in Castle Pines if he could reclaim his health, but he won't, ever.

6. Your priorities get realigned. In my case, I concluded that after 50 years of age, only two things have any importance. Your health and your relationships with key people. The rest of it, accumulating wealth, socializing with shallow people, pomp and circumstance is all a fool's errand. Periodically, I get seduced by it all, just like everyone else, but when I sober up I remember that my wife, family and my handful of true friends are the only things that really count above and beyond the task of reclaiming my soul after 30 years of hanging out with mercantile money-changers. The rest of you can come to my funeral, if you want, because the food afterwards will probably be catered, but don't count on my being embalmed and on display for your purient interests.

7. As my friend, George Harper said, you can size-up and judge a person by whether you would be willing to die with him at the Alamo. Remember, you and the people you hook up with are probably going to the same place, be it heaven or hell. When you are 25, you can fritter away lots of time with the wrong people and it won't matter. But after 50 you are beyond the "half-life" of your product life cycle and there is no time for such indulgences.

I could go on, but you get the picture. My accident was a defining moment and a turning point. I think I am a different person, but only time will tell how meaningful the effect will be. One final thing I would say:

When I meander about in my comings and goings I see lots of high-risk behavior. Some of it, like getting up on a ladder to put up Xmas lights or clean out the gutters is benign and just part of living. Some of it, like riding behind your boyfriend without a motorcycle helmet is more severe. You can arrange everything from smoking, drugs, alcohol, sex without protection, etc on a 0-100 risk scale in terms of the likelihood of it happening. But, if and when it happens. your risk of a negative outcome immediately becomes 100%. Get HIV-Aids, hit the skids off your bike, fall two stories, kill a mom and kids when you are drunk, and you will be lucky to live, if not sip a protein drink through a straw for the rest of your life. Like an alternative form of slow suicide--risky, unprotected behavior costs everyone around you and turns your loved ones into care-givers at best, and widows at worst. Most of us do not die of natural causes in our sleep. We succumb to our stupid, arrogant behavior and we become road-kill one way or the other. You can say you are the victim of cancer or heart disease, but it is probably due to your own behavior somewhere along the line. You are stretching the truth when you call yourself a victim--if you are objective and really willing to analyse it. I know that what I am saying will not change anyone's behavior, I know that the human condition is to live the way we do and rationalize it in a million ways. My mission in life is not to change your karma. There is an old saying that "direct, personal experience is the best teacher, but it is also the most expensive way to learn".

I hope you have a great Fourth of July. If you get a chance to do something kind for a Mexican landscaper, an EMT on an ambulance, an ICU nurse or an up-and-coming young doctor, do so. And if you see some fool riding around without a motorcycle helmet with his daughter on the back, recite the Fool's Prayer:

"Forgive him Father for he knows not what he does, or if he does, he is in denial. Deliver me from the temptation to do stupid things myself"


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CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Francis Miller

Parker , CO

Francis Miller has posted 699 stories and 9 comments since joining on 11/17/2005. Francis Miller's average story rating is 4.19.
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