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How to deal with fame

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Contributed by: Joe McDaniel on 8/24/2006

It came like a bolt from a clear blue sky, unanticipated, shocking, amazing . . on 16 Aug. one of YourHub.com's premier Web Hosts, John Brandstetter, "circumnavigated all legal procedures and unofficially made Aug. 16 Joe McDaniel Day. " This was a classic YourHub hubbub.

I was stunned. After all the months of anonymity, humbly going about my business, striving to improve myself in all walks of life, quietly posting stories and blogs of inconsequential literary merit, and yet continuing to find time for my family and for sudoku puzzles: to be recognized in this way. Unbelievable! Could I be the next Paris Hilton?

I had thought that being named to Brendan Leonard's Bloggers List was the ultimate achievement, the crowning jewel of my lifes work. Could there be any reward higher than that? Perhaps, in retrospect, I was naive. Little did I realize someone else was taking note of my modest lack of achievement, my inane sense of humor and completely idiotic and meaningless contributions to YourHub.com.

In my heart of hearts, of course, I knew that fame would not change me. I vowed to remain humble and modest, eschewing public attention yet, at the same time, making a few discreet phone calls to several publicity agents. Almost immediately the phone started ringing. I still haven't figured out why. There seems to have been an electrical malfunction. There were several hang-ups and numerous telemarketing calls. My Alabama relatives suddenly contacted me after an absence of 15 years but stopped calling when I convinced them there was no monetary reward likely to be received. Nontheless, I heard a rumor that Parker City Officials were looking for someone to be Parade Marshall in the Annual 2008 Parker Days Celebration. I asked a friend to send them an anonymous email to let them know I might be available. So far there has been no response.

The most devastating effect of my new-found fame was physical. For all these past months I have worn a paper sack over my head. This was a gimmick really, to avoid being mobbed on the street or in the produce section of Wal-Mart. Had I known that John Brandstetter's dad also wore one, I would not have continued to do so. Anyway, shortly after the announcement of Joe McDaniel Day, my head began to swell, resulting in irreparable damage to my sack ( see photo). I was also unable to wear my favorite YourHub.com baseball cap. It would not adjust to a size big enough to fit my swollen pate. I was, quite literally exposed!

I went to bed and took two Advil. Miraculously, on the stroke of midnight, the swelling subsided. It was no longer Joe McDaniel's Day. Once again I was an Average Joe, unappreciated, unnoticed, invisible. Hooray. There was no need for additional medical or psychological treatment. It was not necessary to take legal action against YourHub.com for the payment of medical expenses. Whew - did we dodge a big bullet there, or what? A feeling of relief swept over me.

So, what advice would I give to the average Joe Four Pack out there going through life, uncomplicated, unassuming, humble? Should you find fame thrust upon you without warning, what do you do? First; remind yourself that fame too, like flatulence, will pass. The swelling will go down. Second; hide. Third: get a lawyer and sue.

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Showing 1 of 1 comments

Submitted By: John Brandstetter

posted on 8/24/2006 @ 3:48:04 PM

Rated Story

Pure brilliance. And Joe, I have connections in Parker. If you're not parade marshal next year, someone's going to find a paper sack in his bed.

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CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Joe McDaniel

Parker , CO

Joe McDaniel has posted 217 stories and 197 comments since joining on 9/14/2005. Joe McDaniel's average story rating is 4.94.

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