Of all the months of the year, January has got to be the biggest party pooper. Just like that one friend who shows up after the party and reminds you how long it's going to take to clean up the mess so too does January rear it's ugly head once every year.

Almost every month of the year has something to offer: February brings hearts, candy, and for most married men at least one day of the year where we have a sure bet for as Bob Eubanks used to call on Love Connection some "whoopee." March ushers in the promise of spring, whereas April and May offers flowers, warmth and those Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs. As Alice Cooper points out school's out in June, and who can deny all the wonderful memories that those summer nights conjure up. Fireworks follow in July, and while August can be a dog, it usually makes for good company knowing that September is just around the corner with the changing leaves and a new football season. October has the refreshing brisk fall weather and the trick-or-treats, while November brings a tasty dead-bird that sure is good to eat. Santa of course comes to town in December, leaving us back to January...

Like a nasty hang-over on a Sunday morning, January sneaks back into our lives after a night of partying. Its' entrance is so subtle at first, most of us still think it is December for at least a day or two, but after a while its' arrival is undeniable. First we find ourselves going back to work or school after a week or two of holiday joy. Then we realize that we don't have a damn thing to look forward to for a month, maybe more. Oh, and yeah, it's really freaking cold outside.

The stores go from displaying holiday cheer with Christmas trees, toys, and treats, to a drab assortment of storage ware, and exercise equipment - all reminders that we bought too much stuff, and got fat. Then January brings those post-Christmas credit card bills to our mail boxes and those New Year's Resolutions to shed some weight which we all know will last as long as a fifty-cent Penthouse magazine sale with a crowd of fourteen year-old boys.

Yep, we all have those advent calendars that count down the days until Christmas; I think this year I'll invent one that counts down the days until February.