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Blog Entry 45 of 181 Bad Mom
I call myself Bad Mom because at the time I came up with it, I was learning about the assumptions we put behind our words. I was following the pattern of not believing that my kids are okay, and speaking to them from that basis. I changed that, and it made a big difference. I am from Utah and my people are still living there. My husband was in the Air Force and we rattled around until we saw Colorado, and we stuck.

Blog Url: http://denver.yourhub.com/~Huh

Candidate Bar Hopping
Contributed by: Lisa Arata   on 12/14/2007

Okay. So. Of the presidential candidates for next year, I pick the four front runners: Hillary and Obama. Giuliani and Romney. Okay. Here's how we'll know who gets elected. Keep in mind, I'm on my second alcoholic beverage as I'm writing. We put the candidates in a decent neighborhood bar and see how they do at the popular boozy pastimes.

Here are the rules for who wins:
1. Best Karaoke
2. Zingiest trash talk
3. Darts
4. Who can hold their liquor
5. Country line dance
6. Fight out back

Points: 0, 1, 2, 3
0=icky
1=whatever
2=okay...
3=all right!

1. Karaoke

Clinton: Can't sing in tune, but picks a song everybody thinks is appropriate for her campaign,1
Obama: Plays the race card. Picks something by Earth Wind and Fire. Good falsetto. 3
Giuliani: Picks Frank Sinatra. 2
Romney: Picks a patriotic rock song like Born in the USA. Not a good singer. In tune. 1.

2. Trash Talk (best lines)

Clinton: "I'm mo of a sustah than you a bruthah, oreo." 1
Obama: "Excuse me, did I hear somebody sayshe's a cookie?" 3
Giuliani "Oh, that's gotta hurt. Not as bad as when your city gets blown up, but woise than when ya husband gets blown. Up." 1
Romney "Where are your minds? In the gutter. Pure and simple. 1

3. Darts

Clinton all low scoring but on 1
Obama one close to the bullseye, the rest on the wall 1
Giuliani One on the bullseye, one on the outside, one missed 1
Romney All near-bullseye because he's stone cold sober 3

4. Holding Liquor

C: You can't tell the difference between drunk and sober 1
O: Gets sloshy and can't pronounce words but is funny 3
G: Knows lots of drinking games and songs and dirty jokes 2
R: Falls on his butt and passes out 1

5. Line Dancing (This should happen before event 4, come to think of it)

C. Ooh. Ugly. 0
O: Knows how to move hips. Adds a little something. 2
G: Gamely plays along, willing to look like the clown. 1
R: Learns it in 2passes but can't move hips 1

6. Fight out back

C: Crotch kicks, hair pulls 3
O: Gets sucker punch 0
G: Gets a black eye. Gives broken nose, humiliating a** kick 3
R: Feints and dodges, then back-hand slaps 3

Score: Let's see how they did

Clinton: 7
Obama: 12
Giuliani: 10
Romney: 10

God help us!!!


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CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Lisa Arata

Greeley , CO

Lisa Arata has posted 181 blog entries and 281 comments since joining on 4/18/2007. Lisa Arata 's average blog rating is 4.74.
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