Blog

YourHub.com \\ Westminster \\ Blogs \\ Family & Community \\ Community

Blog Entry 8 of 24 Coach Notes

Blog Url: http://denver.yourhub.com/~TCRCoach

How To Talk So People Will Listen

e-mail to a friend | print this | link to this

Contributed by: Judy Barton on 7/6/2007

Presentation is the most critical aspect of communication. How we say what we say is the key to positive, productive and successful results. Our words should create interest, encourage enthusiasm, stimulate or motivate. They should promote a call to action rather than provoke areaction. Carefully choosing the words that best express our thoughts, steering clear of words which might offend cultural or environmental sensitivities and avoiding confrontational language and tone, will offer a positive flow and outcome.

Selecting a suitable format can help alleviate unpleasant consequences and avoid activating defense mechanisms. Choosing the most appropriate and effective method is not always an easy task, but can make the difference in how our concepts are received and processed. These skills are often a major factor in our business associations and in our quest to reach the top of the corporate ladder. Simple modifications can bring considerable changes in atmosphere. Using I in place of You when beginning a conversation personalizes the issue for you rather than the listener. It is always a good idea to avoid the need for the listener to don defensive shields, build barriers and walls or adorn protective armor.

We all have a past which affects our present. The obvious solution is to deal with those issues and correct any negative affects. The reality is that we must learn to communicate in a positive and effective manner until they are resolved. Unfortunately, many of our feelings and reactions come from our previous experiences and have no direct bearing on the present matter. Because we still carry old tapes on file, it opens the door for leftover negative feelings and the reactions that accompanied them to affect our current responses. Keeping our conversations in the present and relevant will encourage successful communication.

I highly recommend reading "Wishcraft" by Barbara Sher and "You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think"by Layne Cutright and Paul Cutright. These materials may be helpful in providing a greater understanding of this aspect of communication and how it affects our interpersonal relationship and career success.

Subtle is well received in any arena. A whisper holds a greater vantage than does an unrestrained call for attention. We are more apt to solicit a positive response by proposing a request than making a complaint. Complaints state a negative and are more likely to provoke a negative reaction. Requests seek to improve or gain positives and are therefore more inclined to be met with positive acknowledgment.

Being a conscientious speaker is important to successful communication in every aspect of life. We have all experienced the frustration of being interrupted while trying to convey our thoughts. Monopolizing the conversation does not afford us power or control. That type of demonstrative demand for attention merely serves to present a poor image and discourage a desire for further communication. Conversations are meant to be a dialogue rather than a monologue.

There is no cure for the common word. Our communication skills make our all important, first impressions and have a lasting impact. What we say and how we say it is representative of who we are as our character, qualities and flaws display themselves. Words are commanding tools and can become powerful weapons. They cannot be retracted or erased, and if used inappropriately can damage the speakers credibility or wound and scar a listener.

Our ability to communicate well is our greatest asset. Used wisely and appropriately, it is the key to success in any venue. A lack of regard or misuse can create a gross liability. It is to our benefit to keep those skills fine tuned and functioning well so that we do not leave behind a loss of respect and trust. Recovery from such a loss is often a difficult and overwhelming feat.

www.tcrassociates.net

< Previous: 'What Do Women Want?' | Next: 'Living Single & Loving...' >

[Report this as objectionable content.]

SUBMIT COMMENT

Rate the above blog

Talk Back : submit comments to the blog

*Note: you need to log-in to add a comment or rating.

Thank you! Your comment has been updated.

CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Judy Barton

, CO

Judy Barton has posted 24 blog entries and 0 comments since joining on 2/15/2007. Judy Barton 's average blog rating is 4.8.

view profile » view other postings from Judy Barton »

SAVE AND SHARE THIS BLOG ENTRY

digg	Google
del.icio.us	Yahoo!
reddit	Newsvine

What is this?

BLOG ENTRY RSS FEEDS

All blog entries

All blog entries in Westminster

All blog entries by Judy Barton

BLOG LIST

WANT TO WRITE FOR YOURHUB.COM?

Want to see the stories you write and the photos you shoot featured in the YourHub.com Thursday print section available all over the Front Range and with home subscriptions of the Rocky Mountain News and The Denver Post? All you have to do is register, then post a story or column, start a blog or tell everyonewhat events are happening in town. We will print the best stories, columns, event listings, photos and blog entries in our print sections.

Loading Ad