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Blog Entry 30 of 148 The Meaning of Life, or at Least the Last 24 Hours
First, a few things about me. I am deceptively handsome for someone who is significantly overweight. Don't get me wrong. I'm not washes-himself-with-a-rag-on-a-stick fat or bury-him-in-a-piano fat, but I could stand to lose another 60 or 80. Second, almost none of what I say can be taken seriously. I love to write, and as a previously self-admitted fatty, I am a king of self-deprecating humor. I look for the humor in everyday life, and this is the meaty chunks of which I will write (note: overweight people often use food as adjectives and metaphors). Third, I am notoriously unreliable, so don't expect an update every day. I am a retail manager, which means I work like a dog. Seriously, retail is great for loners and orphans. Just ask my wife. In fact, when a guy shoots up a fast food restaurant and they interview the people that knew him and they always say "He was kind of a loner, he kept to himself." This guy generally works retail. Fourth, do not expect political correctness from this blog. It is my point of view, that on the pallette of life most of us are not even primary colors. Hell, most of us are that dried slop that collects on the brush when you forget to wash it. No one's better than anyone else on my blog. Well maybe we're better than the hippies; can't stand them. Oh, and soccer moms too. I don't really care about your honor student. Oh yeah, also the people that don't watch their kids. Put a leash on Skippy, or I'll whack him with a Ritalin stick.

Blog Url: http://denver.yourhub.com/~BillsBunchoBSblog

The Red Wings Still Suck
Contributed by: Bill Boucher   on 7/18/2006

Tee times have suddenly become harder to get in Detroit in the last couple of days. Ah, yes... the end of April, the beginning of May, and another early exit for the Dead Things. Team Geritol's last gasp was way back in 2002 when they beat my beloved Avs. Since then they have been underachievers, folding like a pair of pocket 3's in the early rounds.

But are they really underacheivers? I think they have ended up right about where they should. Thanks to the new scheduling this year, each team had eight games with each other team in it's division.

Now I don't want to imply that the Central Division is full of marshmallows, but If the Blues, Blackhawks, or Blue Jackets (sorry Footer) got to close to an open flame, they would brown nicely on the outside, and their sweet insides would get all gooey and warm.

In the 48 games these bottom feeders played against Detroit and Nashville, they only came up with 8 wins between them. Or to put it another way, 36% of Detroit's wins (21/58) came against the curd (certainly not the cream) of it's division. Nashville was even worse, with 39% (19/49) of it's wins coming from it's timid brothren.

I don't want to say the Central Division is soft, but if Mr. Whipple caught you squeezing it, he'd pull your sweater over your head and pummel you senseless. The Northwest division, by contrast, was a study in the parity that ratface....er, Gary Bettman, envisioned when he enacted the salary cap. Two of the Northwest Division teams are still in, Edmonton and the mighty Avs, and Calgary took their series seven games. The lower seeds from the Central and Pacific have been playing play-off level hockey for the past six weeks just to get into the playoffs.

Why were the Wings exposed as the beneficiaries of this soft schedule? Why doesn't their regular season dominance carry over?

Because they're OLD!! Look at them. They're just so...old. You've got Chris "Hi, have you met my brother, Moses?" Chelios.You've got Stevie Y. It pains me to rip on Steve, because he is a class act, and one of the few Red Wings I respect. However, he's been playing on one leg for so long, I half expected to see a parrot on his shoulder during the Edmonton series. Add in the fact that Legace means "soft goal" in french, and their half dozen swedes went to the gold medal round in the olympics, it all equals an early exit for a tired team.

Although defense wins cups, the new variable this year is speed.
The Avs have both. We have great defensive defensemen like Karlis Skrastins (second this year in blocked shots) and we also have defensemen who are not afraid to jump into the play on the offensive side of the puck. Brett Clark, Patrice Brisebois, John-Micheal Liles, and Rob Blake are all capable of scoring key goals. In fact, Colorado was one of the best teams this year in defensemen scoring with over 50 goals.

We are also sick fast, just like we've always been. Sakic, Laaksonen,
Hejduk, and Tanguay are all capable of undressing defensemen and putting in "can-you-believe-that?" goals. Don't forget gritty in-your-face players. We've got the lunchbucket guys who are willing to take a beating for the "ugly" goal. Ian Laperriere (for my money, the best pick-up by Pappa Peet), Steve Konowalchuk, and Dan Hinotecan always be counted on in the locker room and on the ice for inspiration.

This is the way I see it shaping up. Edmonton and Colorado in the conference finals, and the winner of that one lifts the cup.


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CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Bill Boucher

Brighton , CO

Bill Boucher has posted 148 blog entries and 1704 comments since joining on 11/6/2005. Bill Boucher 's average blog rating is 4.95.
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