Ok, I admit it. I fell off the wagon. Can I be excused? I have a good reason. I celebrated my one-year anniversary in Denver by going back east - to Philadelphia, to New York, to the Jersey shore. What did I do? I ate. I ate. And then, I ate some more. I ate as much pizza, cheese fries and hoagies as my pants would tolerate. I am sorry but after a year of "thoner" immersion, I had to go back and get in touch with myself -- and my inner pizza crust.

While there, I was not compelled to smile at anyone. I did not ask anyone how his day was going. I didn't chat up the cashier in WaWa*. I was free to snarl whenever I wanted - for no reason at all. I felt at peace knowing Jon Bon Jovi was just a few exits away. And I didn't look both ways when crossing a one-way street; because, I knew if an east coast driver was stupid enough to go the wrong way, he'd make sure you knew he was coming as he cursed you for stepping off the curb - even if you were in the crosswalk.

But fear not, fellow Denverites, I returned. I did not let the Ocean City sand between my toes lure me away from my new home. I admit the humidity made me long for mountain air. But, the real reason I returned was to pick up my smart car, of course.

You may have seen me on the Denver streets - I am the one who looks like I'm riding in an oversized bumble bee. One day I was driving an old Ford Focus, anonymous to the rest of the city. Now, I have to apply lipstick whenever I go for a drive as my public awaits. Ok, so that's a bit of an exaggeration. But, it really is true that you can't "run out" for a quick sec to grab a loaf of bread in a smart. You have to add some extra time for the people who stop you at red lights, in the parking lot and pretty much everywhere in between.

Usually I enjoy the inquiries. However, if you are a person who feels a pick-up truck or SUV should be issued with every Colorado driver's license, don't stop to chit-chat. Nothing I could possibly say could win you over to my driving lifestyle - except, of course, my gas receipts. There's no chance I'll have to take out a bank loan to fill my "smart" tank.

Speaking of Colorado driving ... can someone explain what propels Coloradans through red lights? I'm cool with the South Philly slide that enables you to glide through stop signs without coming to a complete halt. However, I do not understand why red lights in Colorado are mere suggestions. I worry for my smart. So if you see me on the road, please be sure to stop at the red light - I'll engage you in a "smart" conversation ... even if you are driving an SUV.

* If you don't know WaWa, you haven't eaten a Philly hoagie or soft pretzel recently.