I Can Write a Children's Book...

It seemed as though I'd thought about writing forever. What could be better, typing out manuscripts for novels that would eventually garner me millions in the way of royalties, movie deals, and best of all, I didn't ever have to get out of my pajamas. Such is the way creative minds, with big dreams think.

Long ago and far away, I'd won an essay writing contest sponsored by the local newspaper. The prize? A spot in the line during "Hands Across America" --- I still have it somewhere, I know that I wrote it on an Apple IIE processing program.

Today, at 38, I'm finally going to be a published author. It's not a novel, there aren't characters rich with nuance, and enough depth and range to be engaging as a Matt Damon leading role movie script.

No, that would've been way too close to actually realizing my youthful dreams, and if I do that, well it'd be time for me to go six feet under. The dream of actually becoming the person I'd always wanted to be, that's what keeps me going, charged up and ready to keep plugging away.

I am by my nature a communicator, a stand up comedian, a manager of people in my corporate day job. Writing is just another form of communication - but it's harder than talking face to face. I found that I've had to write and re-write to ensure that I'm accurately painting a picture while using the least amount of text possible. That's hard for me, I'm a girl. A chatty girl. I like to talk and talk and talk...I thrive on tangents to a conversation. My husband can't stand it.

I've been kicking around the idea of writing a children's book. I figured, eh, if I'm going to write, might as well start with something easy. It was just a little idea, I didn't know what I'd be writing about, or what the target age for the book would be, just kind of had it simmering in the back of my head.

And then, I won the funny mom contest in 2006 on TV.... Shortly thereafter, I was on the front page of a couple of local papers, and while in line at the spa to pay for my anti-aging facial treatment, my cell phone ringing with a complaining 7 year-old daughter "mommmmm, you said you would be home already...".

While the contents of my pocketbook jostled around mockingly as if to say "ha ha, we have your keys and you're not going to find them" my frustration grew, and then a girl walked up to me holding the paper and said, "are you the funniest mom?" when I replied with an affirmative, she then said, "and you have a daughter, too, that is so cool. You are so funny, I watched you. Your daughter is so lucky, my mom's not cool. At all."

She said with a roll of her tweenie eyes and a dark glance at a trim woman with short hair, matching sweats, and the de rigueur Ryka sneakers (the Douglas County stay at home mom uniform).

That was it. That was all I needed. The idea gelled in almost an instant. I was once a tween who thought my mom was just such a pain, so uncool...and I recognized that my daughter's felt that way about me on occasion.

So, I wrote a book. It's called, "My Mom's Not Cool"...after a long long time, I found a publisher who was willing to take it on, she in turn found an illustrator who was just amazing...and after months of back and forth, tweaking and modifying, the book is on its way.

As Mothers' Day approaches and I try to wipe away the cynicism of what I think of as another "corporate Hallmark holiday," I'll be signing copies of the book and doing readings around the area the week before Mothers Day and thinking about how moms get the short end of the stick when it comes to our kids' perceptions of who we are as people.

Now that I'm a mom, older and wiser, I realize the import of my relationship with my mom. I learned so much from her example. I only hope to live up to her model, because today as I reflect on my own upbringing I recognize fully that being a mom is not about cool, but about love.

One day, I hope that my daughters will have the same realization about me. All that I do, all that I hope to be, all that I one day will become is the result of having a mother who loved me, in the uncoolest ways possible.

Happy Mothers' Day.