Lying awake at three am, I feel the worries creeping in.

Into my head. Who read my blog? What if I gain fame someday and my old, old stuff gets drug up from the bowels of the blogosphere and someone uses it to embarrass me?

What kind of person would do that? Well, I happen to know that sometimes people are just kind of uncaring and stupid in the things they do and say. I've been one. And it would only prove kharma if it happened to me.

What could I do? I guess the things I'd have to arm myself with are:

1. A good sound byte, like "That was a long time ago, Jethro."

2. Embarrassment-proofing, such as not having my ego depend on it, or having people around whom I knew would be on my side.

3. Speaking of things unrelated to the stuff I used to post about.

I start to have thoughts of how mean people can be. I get paranoid and think Big Brother is looking over my shoulder.

And most of all I feel how starved I am for the feeling that people care about me. They do; I just can't always feel it.

What do I take away from this? I ought to treat everyone like my brother or sister and maybe stop putting out my opinions willy-nilly, and just...care more. And go some places so I gots more to talk about than just opinions.