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Blog Entry 49 of 49 Barry Manilow's Wardrobe
Fans of the 1985 masterpiece about teenage angst, "The Breakfast Club", know that John Bender did have one question for Principal Vernon. To those who have never seen the movie, well, I recommend it. If you get past the title, you may find something in this blog that strikes a familiar chord in your life--something for which to cheer. You may find something worthy of a jeer. Either way, a chord has been plucked, and that’s the most I can hope for. If you find neither---or worse, disappointment---I follow the creed of Aspen's own, the late Hunter S. Thompson: Never apologize, never explain.

Blog Url: http://denver.yourhub.com/~ManilowsWardrobe

Swimming the 'Bay with Babel Fish

Contributed by: Rob Guthrie   on 5/15/2007

I'm sure, like me, you know exactly what it's like to be sitting at your laptop computer on a gloriously balmy spring Sunday morning, sipping on a deliciously rich, ironically Italian (you'll get that part later) dark roast while reading your weekend emails when 70+ messages come flooding in from sellers on EBay, notifying you that you've won the bid on over two thousand dollars worth of Euro-jeans you've never heard of.

You probably also know what it's like to attempt to get EBay to admit, after they verify someone stole your identity, that it was their fault instead of spoon-feeding you the canned "Network Security 101" you-need-to-make-sure-you-don't-answer-phishing-emails schlock.

No?

Would it be more familiar if I said the sellers were from Italy and spoke only Italian? Not even close, eh?

Well, at least I delivered on the promise to tie together loose ends on the irony remark.

I'll assume our Sundays turned out decidedly different, but I can tell you the above scenario, were it to happen on your watch, would go a long way to ruining a quiet, seasonal morning, including the souring of any delicious Italian roast.

Now I am sure Italians are fun loving folk, and that Soprano-type reactions to delinquent payment on goods and services rendered is mostly fictional fodder, but then again, I would have no way of knowing this because, alas, I don't speak Italian. Which is to say, as the messages came pouring in, I had no idea what was being said to or about me.

Which is where this little gem of a website I found comes soft-shoeing in:

http://babelfish.altavista.com

Even though EBay assured me (twice) that they'd contacted "all involved sellers", I figured I needed to start responding to the 33 or so Italian merchants who were clammering---in a language I could not understand---for their money. The Babel Fish service helped me do just that. This wonderfully free translator takes whole phrases as input, and will convert, in either direction, between English and:

Russian
Greek
German
Italian
Chinese (simple or traditional)
French
Spanish
Dutch
Portuguese
Japanese
and
Korean

The translator will also work most of the languages into French and back again as well.

My suggestion would be, particularly if you don't know much at all about the language in which you seek to communicate, to run the translations back and forth a couple times to find the best way to say what you are trying to say.

For example, the original message I tried to translate into Italian was as follows:

I apologize. I did not bid on your item. My account was used without authorization. Ebay has sent you a message regarding this. My apologies.

The Italian (for those of you who can read it) came out:

Chiedo scusa. Non ho fatto un'offerta sul vostro articolo. Il mio cliente è stato usato senza autorizzazione. Ebay vi ha trasmesso un messaggio per quanto riguarda questo. Le mie scuse.

When I fed the above back into Babel Fish and reversed it with an Italian-to-English translation, here is what I found I was about to say:

I ask excuse. I have not made an offer on your article. My customer has been used without authorization. Ebay has transmitted a message to you as far as this. My excuses.

Close, but not quite a cigar. I played with a few of the more "non-transferable" words, like "item" and "account" and came up with this:

Chiedo scusa, io non ho fatto un'offerta sulle vostre merci. Il mio nome è stato usato illegalmente. Ebay vi ha trasmesso un email per quanto riguarda questo. Le mie scuse

( I ask excuse, I have not made an offer on your goods. My name has been used illegally. Ebay has transmitted an email to you as far as this. My excuses.)

Not bad. As it turns out, EBay did not notify anyone (according, at least, to the translated messages I received back). So it was a good thing Babel Fish helped me to reach out. Seems the majority of the merchants are being understanding, due in no small part, I believe, to the fact that I was able to converse with them in a familiar tongue.

The best part is I am no longer sweating the possibility of waking up with a severed horse head under the covers, which---whether she knows it or not---is an indirect bonus for my wife as well.


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Showing 1-3 of 3 comments
Submitted By: William Boucher
posted on 6/4/2007 @ 2:49:36 PM
Rated Blog Entry
Good stuff. Hard to find you, though.
[Report as objectionable]
Submitted By: Meagan Savage
posted on 5/20/2007 @ 2:02:13 PM
Rated Blog Entry
Douglas Adams fan, indeed. Babelfish is great. I used it to help me out on my Spanish homework a few time, but as you discovered, some of the translations are a bit wonky.
[Report as objectionable]
Submitted By: Karin Malchow
posted on 5/18/2007 @ 1:27:13 PM
Rated Blog Entry
As a Douglas Adams fan, I love the site name.
[Report as objectionable]
Showing 1-3 of 3 comments
CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Rob Guthrie

Parker , CO

Rob Guthrie has posted 49 blog entries and 302 comments since joining on 6/15/2006. Rob Guthrie 's average blog rating is 4.99.
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