Call me ornery, but there's something about my years in Parker that have made me take the words "Alternate Route Advised" as a gauntlet dropped. Living on the east side of Mainstreet doesn't mitigate the situation much either.

Sure, I could take the long way around to Safeway, the library, etc. But then I'd miss out on all that construction, and I wouldn't want to do that, would I? After all, "Tearing Up Our Streets For a 'Better' Tomorrow" could practically be our town's motto. It seems wrong not to participate in some way.

I'm worried too, about the merchants along Mainstreet. Not only can all that noise and dust be off-putting, but they chopped down a nice stretch of shade trees just in time for summer's sweltering temps.

It hardly seems the best strategy to lure folks to linger at the new Fika Coffee House (still signed as 20 Mile Coffee House), and definitely could impact your enjoyment of a fine wine on the patio at Vines.

But hey, we're Parker-ites, we can take it. Construction zones are the roughage of life-and a little fiber is healthy, right?

So I'm coming up with my own version of Rush Limbaugh's Operation Chaos. Come on Parker, head downtown! No, I don't mean Home Depot/Wal-Mart/Kohls downtown, I mean the REAL downtown Parker.

Shop at Parker Panache, pick up some posies at Mainstreet Flower Market, have lunch at the Warhorse or spend the evening strolling O'Brien Park with a double dip from Baskin Robbins. Pause to gawk at the big holes in the ground and the sweaty construction workers--the possibilities seem endless!

I'm sure the merchants of Mainstreet will be grateful; they've got Chaos to spare. So let's call it Operation Anti Parker-Chaos. Come on, folks, "Mainstreet Route Advised"!