My siblings and I grew up in an era where my parents weren't our friends. They were the people in our lives that showed us unconditional love and support, taught us life lessons and laid down the boundaries and rules of the house.

We weren't allowed to use foul language, we knew any adult had the authority to correct us, we had to excuse ourselves from the table, there was a curfew, we were expected to do our chores and help with the household, we didn't get everything we wanted and if we broke a rule, we had consequences.

We didn't always like our parents, we got mad at them, rebelled, got grounded, had privileges revoked, and a few times in there, even got spanked.

Our family didn't have everything. My dad was a blue collar worker and the majority of the time, my mom stayed at home with the four of us. By the time I graduated high school, I had only been out of the state of Colorado twice. We got oranges in our stocking for Christmas, shopped at the DAV for clothes and had plenty of black and white packaged generic food lining our kitchen cupboards.

I grew up knowing that life isn't fair, that sometimes you have to work hard to get what you want (and then, that you also sometimes don't always get it), that you treat people with respect, you take responsibility for your actions and that you take care of the people and things around you. These are all good things that I carry with me in life daily.

Parenting is hard. I appreciate that as much the next person and we all make mistakes, but we are here to do well by our children, not to do good by our own motivations.

One thing I have learned though as a parent was that if you answer the question "why" with either "me or I", then you are probably not doing well by your children.

"Why did you let little Billy eat twelve cookies for dinner when you knew he would get sick?"

- "Because I didn't want him to be upset at me."
- "Because I was too tired to make dinner and that is what he asked for."
- "Because I was on a business trip for two days and felt guilty."

"Honey, why did Susie get another Barbie today, when she already has forty-two?"

-"Because I was embarrassed when she threw a temper tantrum today at the store."
-"Because I didn't have enough money growing up to buy a Barbie."
- "Because I had to leave her at the sitter's for twelve hours today."

Our kids will be mad with us, embarrass us, give us guilt trips and push our buttons. We will put ourselves through the ringer wondering if we are doing the right thing - hang tough, you're not perfect and everyone will survive.

Put this simple question and answer technique to use as often as possible and your children will grow up to appreciate the important values in life - but most likely not until they are at least 25 or a parent themselves.