Dear Santa...

Hi Santa! How are all the reindeer? I hope you are all good. I'm not so good. I don't want a lot of new toys or anything this year. Okay, I wouldn't say no to a Buffy Texts Alot doll or a new iPod, but I don't know if you can give me what I really want. I want a new name. It's not that it's a bad name or anything. It's just really, really long. You see my family was one of the first families in America to hyphenate. We've been doing it ever since I can remember. I asked my mommy once why we had so many names. She said we should be proud of our names. All of them.

And if you think it's easy having a name like mine, you have another thing coming. For starters, when I was little and learning how to spell, the first thing my teacher tried to get me to learn was how to spell my name. It took three weeks. Sometimes when I write my name, I have to stop and sharpen my pencil. And you can just forget about anything fun. It tried to sign up for the Jonas Brothers fan club. I had to use five forms.

The first twenty times I tried to create a g-mail account, the webpage expired. I finally had to hire a professional typist. When I set up my Face Book account it suggested 4,337 people I may know based on my name. If it weren't for my computer, I'd never write letters. I once wrote a letter by hand and fell asleep signing my name.

My friend Susie got a monogrammed sweater one year for Christmas (but you already knew that, didn't you?! LOLl!! : p). I thought about asking for one, but when I wrote out my initials on a picture of a sweater in the Wish book, it looked like some kind of Serbian hockey jersey.

And it gets worse. You see, I'm Catholic. There's nothing wrong with being Catholic, Santa. But mom and dad said I have to be confirmed soon. I'm not really sure what it's all about. All I know is I have to pick another name. A confirmation name. I need another name like you need another cookie (just kidding. No coal please!!!! ROTFL ; b) I think I'll pick Theresa.

But it's not all bad though. None of my teachers take roll call any more. The last time one tried to, class was over before she finished. And when my parents get mad enough to call me by all my names, by the time they've finished, they can't remember what they were mad about.

Santa, I know you probably can't help me, but thank you anyway. There's still hope though. I think when I grow up and get married I'll take my husband's name. There's this boy at school I really like. His name is Joe Smith. Who knows?

I love you Santa. Give Rudolph a hug for me.

Sincerely,

Megan Mary Theresa Lieberman-O'Malley-Kensington-Zgrblyk-Lancaster-Jefferson-Robinson-Garfunkel