Wow. Has it really been this long since I've posted anything? April showers have turned to May flowers which withered in the July heat, turned brown in August, got racked up in September, and finally was taken out to the trash in November along with some old Halloween candy and left-over turkey.

Yeah, I've been away for a while. The master of the inconsistent - that's me. But seriously, I've got a really good excuse - see I was playing in the back yard behind my teenage mom's trailer when I accidently got stuck down a 2 foot drainage pipe. It took rescuers two days to excavate me out and... What? Yeah I know my name's not baby Jessica nor is it 1987 any more.

Alright, the thing is that I was flying over the Sahara in a bi-plane with my wife when we went down. I had to leave her in a cave and hike out all while avoiding Nazis and... Oh, jeez - you're right that's the English Patient.

Okay, the truth is I was attempting to save the starship Enterprise from the deadly Genesis effect by getting the warp drive mains back on line before the Genesis torpedo captured aboard Khan's ship exploded. Then there was something about the ship being out of danger and the needs of the many... Okay, okay, that was Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.

The real truth is I've just been really lazy. Lazy, lazy, lazy - Like sprawled out on my couch watching QVC selling glass fairies lazy because the remote is sitting on top of the T.V.

So to everyone who actually enjoys reading my stuff - sorry for the hiatus and look for more 'Thoughts from the Rear' to come...