Article Contributed on: 4/24/2007 5:41:19 PM
Can someone tell me why I am always hungry at 10:00 at night? And why do I crave cheesecake, buffalo wings, chocolate or nachos at that hour? It has to be hormonal. Please tell me it can be fixed! I had to break down and buy a tankini this year! All of a sudden, a tiny roll hangs over the top of my jeans. Don't laugh. I believe it is called a "muffin top." Or maybe it's "junk in the front."
I don't want a muffin top, unless it is cranberry-orange, peanut butter, or chocolate chip, and slathered with butter. I also do not want to do 100 sit-ups every day, unless Brad Pitt wants to meet me next time he's in town. I do not want to run, unless a very large dog is chasing me. I do not want to spin, pilate, yoga, or kick box unless there is a robber coming in my window.
What to do? Switch to low fat? Limit my calorie intake? Stop eating Hostess Snoballs? Shun trans fat? Stop drinking beer? I am pretty sure that Hostess Snoballs are filled with trans fat. They have to be. They are one of the items on my "last meal request" list. And Bud light. Well, there' s a sandwich in every can.
If I ever have to order a last meal, I want a piece of ahi tuna, lightly seared, a heaping mountain of mashed potatoes and gravy on the side, a steaming pile of sweet potato casserole (with marshmellows), a Grande latte from Starbucks, a Bud Light and a package of Hostess Snoballs for dessert. What's on your list?
I've been thin my whole life. Could eat anything...and I mean ANYTHING and stay about 100 pounds (when I wasn't pregnant). My mother told me this would happen. Curses! Why is it that at 4-months-away-from 38, your metabolism suddenly comes to a screeching to a halt? How can it be? And am I finally going to get big boobs out of the deal?